Meet Dr. Deborah Havens

Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I founded Korean Connection after my own personal journey of discovery. My connection with Korea began when my son took a gap year after graduation from the U of M. He traveled to S. Korea to teach English. He was supposed to return in a year to start his career here. But at the end of year, we got a phone call to introduce us to his fiancé, JungSon Hwang. After they married, they spent nearly the next 20 years in Busan.

We visited there many times and discovered another surprising connection to Korea we didn’t know much about, which was the fact that my father-in-law, Chuck Limbaugh, was a veteran of the Korean War that took place from 1950 – 1953. We met Koreans who offered my husband gestures of deep respect and gratitude when they heard of his father’s service in the war. My father-in-law was moved to tears when we shared that story, and so were we.

The deep and profound ties between our two nations and our families became especially important to me once I understood them, and realized that like me, very few Americans were aware that those ties exist. As my grandchildren Henry, Brennan, and Henna, came along, I wanted them to know their Korean heritage is valued here in America. (As young adults, they are all enlisted in the US Army, training to become officers.)

As I discovered, so many others locally had similar connections and/or interests in Korean culture, especially as appreciation for Korean music and entertainment has grown.  In 2013, ten years ago, we organized and became a non-profit dedicated to the exchange of ideas, understanding, and appreciation for the close historical and economic ties between the people of South Korea and the people of the United States and of our own state of Michigan.

I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
It can be quite challenging to blend cultures, especially when it comes to food, social norms in informal or formal occasions, expectations when raising children, or ways of resolving conflict. It took a number of years before all of us got comfortable being honest with each other over cultural customs that just don’t translate well. For example, my grandchildren are more comfortable with American dating practices than Korean standards they consider old-fashioned. But we all have to respect each other’s viewpoint – and acknowledge that there are benefits and downsides to every difference.

 As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar, what can you tell them about what you do?
I’ve returned to a board seat on Korean Connection after a number of years when I was running for elected office, which became a full-time job, though I did not win election. Now I have the time to participate again, enjoy the success this board has achieved in my absence. I basically support the growth and continued community impact of this group.

 Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
Research has shown that having a purpose in life that is challenging but rewarding whenever you are in action — making a plan, taking steps along the way, reaching milestones — that kind of purpose is a contribution to not only your life but the world in which you live. And you don’t have to wait for purpose to find you. You choose how to spend your time.

It’s instructive to remember some basic science that can seem positively mystical here – each of us is a unique individual. Our particular combination of chromosomes will never be duplicated. Whatever you choose to do with your life, the purpose you dedicate yourself to achieve will only come once in all of creation. So from that perspective, your choices are incredibly powerful. Take action to achieve your purpose – not for glory or gratitude, but because your one life on this planet matters in a way only you were born to accomplish. My advice? Start now if you haven’t already.