Meet Bryan Nixon of Mindful Counseling GR

Today we’d like to introduce you to Bryan Nixon. 

Bryan, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
It’s hard to know where to even begin when answering a question about one’s origin story. In many ways, I feel like I am still starting. I’ve never had the luxury of feeling as though I have arrived and for me when I pause to reflect, my life seems much more like the unfolding of a mystery rather than the execution of a well-laid-out plan. For the sake of this interview, the moment that comes to mind is one from 2013. I had been working for a counseling agency in Grand Rapids for a couple of years and was relatively content in my position there, but there was also this part of me that was beginning to emerge. That part of me was more entrepreneurial and I found my thoughts increasingly moving in the direction of wondering what it would be like to own my own business. The thought was both terrifying and exciting. Terrifying because it was stepping away from the comfort of what was familiar and safe into the unknown and what if it didn’t work out? Exciting because something in me felt like it was coming alive each time, I would allow myself to be present to the idea of creating my own thing. Gradually it became more and more difficult to ignore until one day I had breakfast with a good friend who was starting a business of his own. He asked, “are you ready to take the leap? I just signed a lease on an office suite and will have an extra room that you can rent to start your own thing.” My heart leapt and before the terror had a chance to shut it down, the excitement spoke and I found myself saying, “Yes, let’s do it!” A few months later I was moving my furniture into a small basement office that felt both new and foreign, yet also like I was home and where I belonged. I started initially as a solo practice and today the practice has grown to over 30 wonderful therapists, three excellent administrative staff, and three locations. There are millions of details between my initial “Yes, let’s do it,” and where we are today, but the one consistent thread for me at each stage of growth for Mindful Counseling GR has always been the presence of that strange mixture of feeling both terror and excitement and then choosing to lean into each new moment of unfolding. Additionally, as I reflect, I am struck by a deep sense of awe and gratitude. I am honored to be able to do this work in the world with such an amazing team of people who all co-create what MCGR is in the community. 

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
I would say that it has been a lot like a Michigan road. You can be moving along smoothly for a time, but then you unexpectedly hit a pothole and end up with a flat tire. Sometimes the potholes are external, like having to work through some sort of conflict with someone or having to deal with random issues that come up from day to day that I wasn’t planning on, to having to make sudden decisions about how to transition our entire team to an online platform when COVID first hit so that we were able to see our clients virtually. 

While the external potholes can be really frustrating at times, the most challenging potholes for me have always been internal. For example, being in a position of leadership has held me at my growth edge consistently. Leadership is not something I set out for initially and has often brought me face to face with my own self-doubt, fears, and other internal and sometimes very old patterns. This has been perhaps the most unexpected gift of leadership for me. At any given moment there are multiple mirrors being held up to me offering me the opportunity to see my reflection, identify my potholes and consciously try to grow beyond them. Of course, this is both an inner and interpersonal work that lasts a lifetime and is never fully complete. 

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about Mindful Counseling GR?
I have a mentor who has often said that “we are formed in relationship, harmed in relationship, and healed in relationship.” I would say that this belief is central to our work at Mindful Counseling GR. Research has shown that in spite of which therapy technique is used, it is the relationship between therapist and client that will determine the outcome. For example, a therapist could perfectly execute proper technique and therapy tools with a client, but if something is off relationally between the therapist and client, then the therapy has a high likelihood of not being helpful. Because of this we really try to focus on both the content that our clients are bringing to us as well as on the relational process that takes shape in each therapeutic relationship. I would say that this is what sets us apart from others. Many models of therapy focus exclusively on symptom relief, and while that may work for a little while, the symptoms often return. We believe that symptoms are not the primary problem, but rather are like messengers trying to get our attention in order to point us to deeper, more buried wounds that are seeking to be known and worked through. 

The thing I am most proud of is the dedicated team of admin and therapists that we have serving the community. Our therapists provide counseling for adults, couples, adolescents, and kids. We are also committed to our own personal and professional growth and development because we believe that the old adage is true that, “we can’t take people to places that we ourselves have been unwilling to go.” 

I also teach in a continuing ed program for licensed therapists called Relationally Focused Psychodynamic Therapy (RFPT), which is another source of delight for me. I love working with therapists to deepen the work they are doing with their clients by training them how to attune more fully to the relational dynamics in the room between themselves and their clients since, as I previously mentioned, it is the relationship itself that determines the outcome of therapy. 

Additionally, I host a podcast that is largely focused on these themes as well. The podcast is called Why in the World. 

We all have a different way of looking at and defining success. How do you define success?
In the grand scheme of things, we are on this planet for a relatively short period of time and so success for me has something to do being as fully here for this experience of life as possible and helping others to do the same. Mary Oliver says it far better than I ever could: 

When death comes 

like the hungry bear in autumn; 

when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse 

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut; 

when death comes 

like the measle-pox 

when death comes 

like an iceberg between the shoulder blades, 

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: 

what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness? 

And therefore, I look upon everything 

as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, 

and I look upon time as no more than an idea, 

and I consider eternity as another possibility, 

and I think of each life as a flower, as common 

as a field daisy, and as singular, 

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth, 

tending, as all music does, toward silence, 

and each body a lion of courage, and something 

precious to the earth. 

When it’s over, I want to say all my life 

I was a bride married to amazement. 

I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. 

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder 

if I have made of my life something particular, and real. 

I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, 

or full of argument. 

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world 

Mary Oliver 

When Death Comes 

Contact Info:

• Website: www.mindfulcounselinggr.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wiwpodcast
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindfulgr
• Other: https://whyintheworld.podbean.com/