Today we’d like to introduce you to Alesha Barnes.
Hi Alesha, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
My story? That might be the hardest question you could ask someone with autism, not because we can’t answer it, but because you’re probably not looking for as much as we feel is relevant. The shortest answer is curiousity. Curiosity brought me here. I grew up in the Catholic Church, was raised to support social justice and make the world a better place. Who? What? Where? When? How? Those are the questions that started it all and continue to guide all I do.
When I found out the money the church collected didn’t go to the impoverished, I knew I had to be the one to help everyone. (Not to mention the many other injustices perpetrated by the church.) To save the world was a lot of pressure on a 6 year-old. This pressure could very well have lead to the anxiety, depression, PTSD (almost every diagnosis in the book). When the powers of needing to help combined with mental health struggles, the obvious path was to become a Social Worker. I think that is the origin story for most of us in this profession.
I studied Sociology as an undergraduate at The University of Michigan. I knew I was going to have to know more about institutions and cultures before I would have any idea where and how to help. My concentration was Race, Gender, and Inequality. I wrote my thesis on First-Generation College Students. I interviewed these students for my research. It was excruciating to hear the struggles they had, continue to have. They were pissed, stressed, depressed; I was helpless. I was only listening, but I learned that is what I needed to do and what I would study in Graduate School. I thought that maybe then I could fix things, help people.
I went to The School of Social Work at U of M. My concentration was Children and Youth in Families. I interned as an outreach worker at Alternatives for Girls in Detroit and then did School Social Work for a year in Willow Run. Simultaneously, I was a literacy tutor for several years in Detroit Public Schools. All of these experiences were chaotic, I was trying to reach goals with these clients and they just weren’t cooperative most of the time. What was I doing wrong? I needed to listen some more.
After I graduated, I was a therapist at a residential treatment facility for youth. The job was strenuous, the client’s needs were endless and I could do almost nothing to make their lives better. I could listen, I could support, I could go where they led. Where they led was dark and dizzying, abuse and trauma I couldn’t have imagined prior to this job. Where they led was too much to bare. Like many of the unbelievably underpaid and undervalued staff there, we coped with a lot of alcohol. I did my job, I loved those kids, but working within the systems (including the management) was deadening. I began to wonder if everything was unfixable; how could it be this bad?
The next job I took was high-security mental health detention. I cannot tell you why I thought this move would be beneficial in any way, but I was able to thrive in the high-intensity, traumatizing environment. I thought this was where change had to begin. I had to get in the darkest places to find the problem and finally be able to help. All I have to say about this job is that I began to call the giant cockroaches good luck. That was a bright spot of my day. I wish this was exaggeration. I lasted 9 months there. I’m happy to report this facility is now closed.
After this I went to work for a county crisis team— finally, I was out of “lock-up,” I was in the streets, I was up close with psychosis, hopelessness, suicide, and abundant substance use. My substance use was still excessive as well, but “that’s the job!” and “we have to de-stress somehow!” As I began to work with people of all ages, I realized I was no different than them. There was no “helper” and “recipient.” There was simply two people who weren’t sure what to do next. I quit drinking, lost my only coping skill! The stress, deaths, layoff, and the need for an additional job to make rent, eventually led to my partial hospitalization. This helped greatly, but it did not fix the fact that I was putting myself into dangerous situations again-and-again-and-again trying to “help.” How could that be helping anything?
I left this job and went to work at a hospital in a position focused more on paperwork than face-to-face interaction. It was incredibly boring. So incredibly boring. I was barely ever being yelled at, never hit, sexually harassed by only one janitor, and I did not think about a single patient when I went home. I was not trying to help anyone or fix anything. I was trying to survive. It was my turn. But this still felt like a deadend, where was anyone actually getting help? It was not being locked up in this cold, dark, tense hospital. It was not the brick wall of separation between the sick patient and the inhuman helper.
I never, never, never wanted to be a psychotherapist. NEVER. I felt like it was elitist, a cop out to the real, gritty work. The experiences of the past 8 years since graduated had taught me, there was so little help in what I had done. My clients were not voluntary in most situations. They were talking to me against their will. They had no choice. I was propping up systems in cities that helped maintain a dangerous status quo. I was a part of the problem. I had to stop working with involuntary clients and work with clients where they were the sole focus and their world was what mattered. They could lead, I would follow. They decided the who, what, where, when, and how. I had been unable to find answers to these on my own, because they were not mine to find. Although it is admirable to want to help the world and make life better for others, I knew I had to de-center myself and allow the universe to bring me the rest. (Believe me, I would’ve rolled my eyes at this woo-woo phrase years ago, before sobriety, a pandemic, being fired after a lifetime of kissing butt, everything around us).
I was not in control. Clients coming to me was the only option I felt was on the path of being a genuine compassionate, supportive partner in navigating this life.
I was in private practice for an agency for two years and then was unjustly fired (that’s a whole other story). The next day, I found office space, and I started Courage and Care Counseling. My imperfect life and cozy office was and is open to those who need. For three years, I ran the office and only did individual sessions. This year, I joined up with Social Medium, a youth-focused community art center, to begin to offer groups- a mother’s support group and a rest and relaxation group.
I know less about the who, what, where, when, why and how than I ever thought I did at age 6, and this is where I will stay. I will be curious, be open, be kind, be compassionate and offer my services as a listener and support, not as a fixer. Only one person can “fix” anyone and thats themselves. I am honored when someone lets me in on the process.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your business?
I help individuals through life changes, tough choices, traumatic experiences, death, loss & grief, assault, aging, difficult thoughts and behaviors that can make our lives hard to navigate. My professional experience, training and interest has grown to include all people struggling with the daily challenges of life or have experienced traumatic events such as the death of a loved one, serious accidents, various types of assaults, and any other events that were life-changing and out-of-your control. I am especially honored to work with those with maladaptive behaviors such as self-harm, suicidal ideation and alcohol or drug dependence. You are not alone.
I have completed post-graduate training in trauma-focused therapies, substance abuse moderation and elimination, management of suicidal and self-harm thoughts, navigating and eliminating anxiety and depression symptoms. I am passionate about finding the right path to help you heal from what you have been through. My goal is to help people live their best life, starting wherever they are.
I have over 13 years of experience working with clients in various settings including outpatient, community mental health, school social work, residential and inpatient. I am well-versed in the range of treatment available and able to meet the needs of most levels of functioning.
I am an eclectic therapist and draw from many modalities to find what will work best for each client. I am trained and have found the following modalities to work well with many people: Person-Centered therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
I engage in anti-carceral mental health work and all work that furthers the agenda of equity and improved mental health functioning, including Health at Every Size, Social, Racial and Gender Justice, Body Liberation, Sex Worker Allied, Veteran support, Non-monogamy, LGBTQIA+, disability and chronic illness care.
Is there a quality that you most attribute to your success?
Always seeking the support I need
creating the community I have
caring for myself first and foremost
being open-minded
always seeking more education
strong stances on social justice issues
helping eliminate barriers to people seeking treament
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.courageandcarecounseling.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/courageandcarecounseling/
