Check Out Rachael Sylvester’s Story

Today we’d like to introduce you to Rachael Sylvester. 

Hi Rachael, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
“I don’t understand why my friendships are failing.”, “My boss is never clear with their instructions and I feel like I’m always disappointing them.”, and “We had a disagreement and never talked again.” were the comments family, friends, and students would disclose to me on a regular basis over the past twenty years. 

I’ve always taken an interest in studying the communicative behavior of people-what makes them tick, how they acquired their quirky personality traits, what happens when two people attempt to reach a common goal, how they learned to solve conflict and if it works in their current relationships are some of the areas, I’ve found fascinating. I was drawn to the study of Interpersonal Communication and received my Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Communication Arts at Eastern Michigan University, 

Soon after my husband graduated from the Michigan State Police Academy and we relocated to the South West side of the state to begin a new life, surrounded by a completely different culture. We went from a very congested, fast-paced, ethnically diverse area to country living that encouraged one to stop and sit still for a while, watching Amish buggies trot by. We don’t know if it was better, but different and required some getting used to. 

I was hired full-time at IU of South Bend teaching Public Speaking, Interpersonal Communication, and Family Communication, all the while growing our family. For those thirteen years, I had several opportunities to share my knowledge of how relationships function and provide ways to better communication not only in the classroom but in the public realm as well. I was hired to conduct a conflict management workshop in L. A. for high-risk high school students, spoke for a large law firm concerning communicative best practices between employer and employee, was requested to speak at several Women’s retreats and gatherings in my community, and participated in a multitude of new student orientation sessions and programs that provided students with the basics of what a communication course would entail. My professional portfolio grew and I obtained the title of Senior Lecturer at the university. 

I had a great run, but raising four children was no small feat and I felt called to instruct my children from home and reduce my professional position to part-time for a few years. Soon I was contacted by Purdue asking if I’d teach two course fully online-Small Group Communication and Interpersonal Communication. I also picked up a class or two from the local community college. This allowed me to teach at a full-time status from home, but remain close to our ever-growing family. In our mid-forties, my husband and I were asked to foster to adopt a child that was a distant relative. It was a big decision that required three years of trauma training, relearning how to parent a child with special needs, working with an infant mental health specialist, visits with bio-parents, court dates, and consistent interaction with DHHS. After three years in the system, we were finally able to adopt him and learned so much in the process. 

In the meantime, I sensed God had a greater calling on my life to do more with the knowledge I had about relationships and knew how freeing it would be if others were given that insight. Couple this with my personality, I found my niche. You see, I’ve never been one to shy away from speaking truth to anyone, but knew it needed to be tempered in love. The time, place, occasion, the type of relationship, and having the others’ best interest in mind needed to always be considered. I knew I was meant to teach others, outside of the classroom, how to effectively communicate, not just because it would aid people with a specific relationship, but because the skills they would learn could be applied to all their relationships, increasing their chances of success and improving their quality of life. Imagine, for instance, the ripple effect this would have in a family. What’s of real importance is teaching others how to establish and maintain healthy relationships all the while keeping their sense of self intact. 

From here I put together a business plan that includes teaching effective communication skills for various relationships in families, churches, businesses, and organizations. Topics include, but are not limited to, enhancing listening skills, strengthening friendships, conflict management, understanding and interacting with teens, strengthening struggling marriages, Christ-centered identity, intercultural awareness and understanding, welcoming the fringe, reading nonverbal cues, understanding perception, etc. Skills are taught and applied through workshops, lectures that include hands-on activities and encourage personal application, break-out discussion, and keynote addresses. 

I generated the name of my company STIL (“Speak Truth In Love”) Communication, based on the Biblical scripture found in Ephesians 4:15, and adopted the tagline “Teaching Intentional Interaction.” I launched my small business in October 2022, coinciding with my stint as a session speaker at the first annual Michiana Women’s Conference hosted by Alabaster Heart Ministries in Shipshewana, Indiana. 

Today you can find me on social media speaking on just about anything surrounding effective communication, most of which I’ve personally experienced, which includes a range of topics such as raising teens, adopting a toddler through the foster system in your 40s, life of a cop’s wife, how to handle the holidays, facing fear, what’s a true friend, boundaries-where do I stop and you begin, how to value your marriage, surviving it in the thick of it, and more! 

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
The process has defiantly been a journey filled with self-reflection concerning my approach to presentation of the material questioning how I get my point across most effectively to a public audience vs. students in a college classroom. I’ve noticed a definite learning cure. 

Teaching at the college level has led to a natural progression of speaking to the general public. One of the marked differences between lecturing in the classroom and teaching the public, however, is the audience’s perception of my talk. It’s imperative that the audience feels connected to me as a speaker. In the classroom, as the instructor, your credibility is already established and students are there with a purpose in mind to get an “A” in the course. The thought is “What do I need to do to get a passing grade or achieve a certain grade point average in my college career?” when viewing the class and the material. The challenge has always been to get students to care about the topic so much that they want to do something about it, and apply the principles learned to their life. In effect, altering their perception of their need for the class the university is requiring them to take. 

Outside of the classroom, I’ve noticed the opposite tends to be true. You are hired with a specific speaking/workshop/teaching in mind and the outcome is an expectation of a true application of lessons learned for those that attend. I have to first establish my credibility. Then, their mindset is “Teach us what is wrong and how to easily fix it.” If I take the “Instructor/classroom” approach too far, the material can seem dry, non-appealing, and unrelatable. I did this in a talk recently and couldn’t put my finger on why it seemed “OK” when all was said and done. Three days later it hit me – “It lacked relatability.” What’s needed is a good balance of proper knowledge of the material presented along with personal examples of how it’s worked in either my life or others, and how it can work in their life as well by using these easy techniques. I also know now to further the message by providing reference sources such as books, articles, and social media experts. 

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I have a Master’s degree in Communication Arts from Eastern Michigan University. I’ve taught at the college level for 24 years at Eastern Michigan University, IU of South Bend, Purdue, and Glen Oaks Community College. 

I specialize in providing personal coaching, workshops, lectures that include hands-on activities and application, and give keynote addresses to audiences that vary from schools, churches, Women’s groups, and businesses on a variety of topics surrounding “Teaching Intentional Interaction” to audiences that are generationally and ethnically diverse. 

What makes STIL Communication distinctly unique is the nature of my brand. There are very few businesses that offer to produce what I promise. I first begin by interviewing and researching what the needs are of your company/group and look to find what you are wanting as an end goal. I ask about your particular audience, what their strengths and weakness are in communication, and then create a specialized plan that includes a wide variety of communication skill sets tailored for your audience.

Can you talk to us about what you think about risk?
“Feel the Fear and do it anyway!” is a saying I heard often from my mother, who was a single parent raising three girls while working full-time, going to college part-time, and put in endless hours of community service to help the poor, homeless, hungry, and elderly. I had and still have a wonderful example of facing fear head-on and grappling with the mental struggle of if I will ultimately be successful in a small business. 

“Will all these endless hours of writing, planning, recording, and praying pay off?” We just don’t really know. What I do know is that If I don’t try, I will always wonder “What if. . ” In the meantime, I do know that any material I have put out on social media and all the speeches I’ve given and every time I do an activity with someone teaching them how to work through conflict, for example, has impacted someone’s life for the better. In Isaiah 55:11 in the Bible it says that God’s word goes out and always prospers. My material is Biblically centered so I know that I can’t go wrong. 

Contact Info:

• Email: rmsylvester@yahoo.com
• Instagram: rachaelmsylvester
• Facebook: STIL Communication-Rachael Sylvester
• TikTok: @rmsylvester

Image Credits
Melissa Blakely