Check Out Kristin Johnson’s Story

Today we’d like to introduce you to Kristin Johnson. 

Hi Kristin, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I like to call myself a domestic engineer or, even better, the CEO of the Johnson Family Corporation. But those are just fancy terms to describe my career as a homemaker for the past 14 years. Most wouldn’t consider running a home to be parallel to running a business, but I beg to differ. If running a home isn’t like running a business, I don’t know what is! For it to be successful, it requires most, if not more, of what it requires to run a large company. But I digress. 

I chose this direction for my life when I was really young and even though there were different ideas, I had about career paths throughout growing up, none stayed with me as solidly as starting a family and full-time raising my children. I remember in my junior year of high school when I took an AP English class, that my teacher asked me what I wanted to do after I graduated. That was over 20 years ago, but I still remember looking her in the eyes and saying “I want to have a family.” And so that’s what I did. 

Allow me to slightly rewind to the beginning of my life. When my parents were young, they decided the best decision was to get married because my mom found out that she was pregnant with me. This was obviously a surprise and not something they had planned, but ultimately, they decided to get married. They had a very tumultuous marriage and after having my brother and moving from Michigan to Texas and back again, they separated when I was 9 years old, with the divorce being finalized shortly after my 10th birthday. I remember it being a very quick process. One day dad was living at home, and the next he had moved out. Both of my parents were in new relationships very quickly and so the course of my life changed rather dramatically in a very short period of time. And on top of that, I went to 5 different schools between kindergarten and sixth grade. This kind of frequent and drastic change can be very traumatizing for children, which is something that isn’t talked about or addressed often enough. In the moment, my brother and I coped with the changes the only way we knew how, but as the oldest who happened to be aware of a lot of what was going on around me, I carried the weight of much of what was happening and did the best I could to protect my little brother. I was fiercely protective of him! Looking back, I know that my parents did the best that they knew how when we were growing up, to help us through it. But in reality, because they were dealing with their own issues and the aftermath of the messiness of divorce, everyone went into survival mode. They couldn’t really give us the emotional support and help that we needed to process what was happening and be able to heal along the way. I dealt with a lot of fear and anxiety as a child, who just wanted to feel safe when my foundations were shaking. The adults in my life didn’t know how to help me, so I tucked those feelings away and when they were triggered, I just did my best to manage them and get through it. I got really good at it too, because, looking back, I have a lot of good memories from growing up where I wasn’t constantly anxious or fearful, but I had unusual and unhealthy coping mechanisms. Unfortunately, however, when you don’t deal with childhood trauma in the moment, it either gets packed away to then only show up again in adulthood or you deal with a lot of behavioral issues along the way. 

I will say, even though there was dysfunction, I believe the saving grace was the fact that my parents were (and still are) Christians and raised me to have a relationship with God. I connected with God at a very young age, which I know is not the case for many people. I truly believe that it was His hand on, and in my life, that protected me in a lot of ways from how things could have easily turned out, statistically speaking. When I was a teenager, I gave my life to Jesus fully and never looked back. Even though I had gone through the pain of the divorce of my parents, I still strongly believed in marriage and family and knew that I could break those patterns in my family line. Because either you’re going to break them or perpetuate them. I made an intentional decision that I would break the patterns of divorce and that I would make good choices in who I dated and ultimately who I married. My desire became to marry a man who I was in love with and who believed the same way I did, and could raise children with me in an unbroken home. But not just that. To raise them with parents who loved each other and honored one another and stayed together for life. This was so important to me. And it was also important to the man who would become my husband. You see, my husband also came from a broken home. His parents divorced around the same time my parents did, oddly enough. So, when we met and fell in love, you had two people who were determined, against all odds, to make things work and do what was needed to stay together. My husband Dave used to say in the early years of our marriage, “we can be happily married or miserably married, but we’re staying married.” Little did we know just how much emotional healing was needed, along with the willingness to grow and change, for us to be successful. But with intentionality, the help of the Lord, solid grit, and wise counsel, we began to overcome our family’s divorce cycles. You see, it wasn’t just my parents who divorced, but also my dad’s parents who divorced and remarried. I grew up with a lot of grandparents! Even my mom’s parents were separated years before I was born but worked it out and miraculously stayed married. Still, the odds of people continuing the patterns are large unless someone breaks it. And the work to do this has been totally worth it. We have two beautiful children who are getting to experience what we only wished we could have experienced growing up. It’s such a gift to be able to give that to them. And to see what it actually looks like when put into action. It’s also such a blessing to be able to model it to others. It isn’t always perfect, and it’s not a perfect system, but it’s good, right, and healthy. We can also be an encouragement to those parents who have gone through divorce and wonder how their kids will turn out, if they’ll be ok, and if they’ll have healthy relationships. We’re living reminders to show that YES it truly IS possible! 

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not, what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
It has definitely NOT been smooth the whole way. But ultimately as a whole, it’s been really, really good. When my husband and I got married, we were very young and immature and had a lot of emotional pain that we carried into our marriage. We didn’t realize it at the time because we had the typical fantasy of a fairytale, but those issues sure did come up rather quickly! We had a lot of wounds, fears, insecurities, and bad habits that we had to work through if we were going to have the kind of life that we desired together. Thankfully, we were at least willing to do the work needed. Fast forward to when I entered my 30s, after going through two miscarriages following the birth of my first child, and then having my second baby, I was suddenly and unexpectedly hit with the emotional toll that the trauma I experienced as a child had on me. To put it plainly, the things in my past that I had buried deep came to the surface of my heart and mind. I thought I had dealt with it, but I really just managed it for years, and I went into a really dark place emotionally and mentally. It started to surface with the birth of my daughter and the postpartum depression I experienced. Then, all in the same season, I had a small health scare that, in reality, wasn’t serious at all. There were just some things that needed to be corrected in my system, but my childhood, self-protecting brain interpreted it as a catastrophe. I had no healthy coping skills to counter it with the truth or to be able to see the reality of the situation as being relatively minor. So, it triggered and surfaced health anxiety that I unknowingly carried for years, trust issues, and many other things. All in all, what it revealed to me was how I truly handled change and challenges in life. Big change would rock my world instead of me being adaptable. Ultimately, it forced me to begin addressing unresolved areas in my heart that were deeper than my actual body. So much of what I was experiencing physically, including my body’s reactions to perceived (unfounded) threats, had to do with my emotional state and unresolved pain. I had to heal; I had to change if I wanted to thrive in life. So, I dove headfirst into a healing process that included a lot of forgiveness of those that wounded me, including forgiving myself and releasing myself from some of the responsibilities of the things I had no control over as a child. Most of all, I had to walk through the process of forgiving my parents from the past and learning what grace and mercy look like in real life. It also involved grieving my parent’s divorce that had happened over 2 decades prior, yet I had never grieved it. Let’s be honest, divorce is a loss in so many ways, and we all know that it happens to many people. But it requires a grieving process for all involved, just like any loss. At the time, it felt like a relief from the perpetual tension in the home, however, it had a strong and lasting effect that I wasn’t aware of. Also, just being in a situation where there was frequent strife and tension has its effects as well. But with God’s help, the healing process has been extremely fruitful. I have grown closer to the Lord, learned to trust Him in new ways, and learned coping skills I never had before. My body and my mind began to heal; things began to feel more balanced, etc. I also learned the power of getting the right help when needed. If it weren’t for God and the right people surrounding me, I would have most likely needed some sort of intervention with medication. That’s just how deep it was. And there’s nothing wrong with that if a person needs it in their healing process. But I’ve been able to do things without it, and for that, I’m so grateful. I’ve experienced so much healing, growth, and maturing in my life. I have strength I never knew was possible. I’ve even had the privilege of helping and encouraging others, through face-to-face encounters or through my Instagram posts, my blog writing, and a few of the videos I’ve released. This is part of the reason why I am about to launch a newly developed website for my blog at simplyrelevantlife.com. It’s a place where people can come and be encouraged in life. To share what I’ve learned along the way and how to walk it out. All of our lives are relevant and we all have a purpose and an identity. 

The things that my husband and I have gone through to get where we are could fill a book. The ups and downs, the adventures, the tears; the innumerable private breakthroughs and growth we have made that only God can see, are countless in our nearly 20 years of marriage. The outward success you see is the fruit of many years of inward work with the help of the Lord and loads of small, yet good decisions that have compounded over time. I think often this field of work as a homemaker is overlooked as not being as successful in life as having a huge career. It’s certainly not glamorous, so to speak, but what could be more important than the foundation of where you come from? The simple unseen things that make us who we are today as successful humans, cannot be overlooked. To me, what matters most in life and how I measure success is if my marriage is thriving and my kids are growing up to be emotionally stable, have good godly character, and are healthy and full of joy in their own lives and relationships. And that they carry that on through the generations. I want to be a cycle breaker and a generation shifter. 

I give God all the glory. He’s given me the ability to overcome and the desire to make the right choices. If it weren’t for Him, I wouldn’t be in this place I find myself today. A happy marriage, wonderful children, a thriving home life. I had to allow Him to take the broken pieces of my life and put them back together in HIS way, timing, and rhythm for me. And each season carries its own assignment. The unique process He had for me, has built up the muscles I needed to fulfill the larger calling He has for my life. Slow, steady growth is lasting growth. Through everything I’ve gone through and overcome, it’s my hope that I can bring healing, hope, and restoration to others. One of the best gifts I can give my children and my husband is a healed mom and wife. And everything I do: how I parent, how I am as a wife, even my friendships, flows from that healed and restored place. We’re always in process, and there’s still areas that are healing in my life, but I’m making progress every step of the way. I have come so very far from where I was. 

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
My life’s work is currently managing an entire household. This includes housekeeping, budget & finances, giving wise counsel and advice, overseeing schedules, making daily decisions that contribute to the success of the home and the people who live here, healthcare, decorating and design, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere, preparing delicious meals and so much more. I think what I’m especially known for is cultivating balance in our lives, cooking delicious meals, especially my meatloaf! (I come from a long line of good cooks) and I have the ability to say no when needed so we can say yes to the right things. One of the most common things that people say when they walk in my house is the peace that they feel. That’s one of the greatest compliments you can give me! I want people to feel refreshed and at peace when they visit. I think I’m most proud of the normalcy and stability that my husband and I bring to our kids’ lives. The power of a normal, stable, and healthy home life is so underrated! 

What sort of changes are you expecting over the next 5-10 years?
For me to answer how I see my industry in the next decade, I have to put it in the perspective of a homemaker, and a Christian homemaker at that. Everything I do flows from my strong belief in a living, loving God who loves and interacts with His kids. I believe that He is restoring families and foundations that were broken from past generations of divorce and trauma. I see a wave of restored families and people who set the foundations for healthy homes for the generations to come. In the next 10-15 years my prayer and desire is that my own children are beginning the adventure of discovering their calling and purposes that God has for their lives and even beginning their own healthy families. I want our ceiling to be their floor. I had a friend once say that we are “raising” our children. In other words, we are raising them up to do even better in their own lives much faster than we learned it, and take it even further. For myself personally, I desire to be continuing to bring encouragement and healing to others in a greater way through my writing, podcasts, and hopefully speaking engagements, etc. As well as enjoying a beautiful healthy relationship with my adult children. For now, my calling and priority is home, with everything else I do, coming from the overflow. And I’m absolutely more than ok with that. 

Contact Info:

• Website: simplyrelevantlife.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simply_relevant_life/b

Image Credits
Tamara and JC Ortiz