We’re looking forward to introducing you to Austin Coyer. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Austin, thank you so much for joining us today. We’re thrilled to learn more about your journey, values and what you are currently working on. Let’s start with an ice breaker: Who are you learning from right now?
Lately I’ve been listening to and reading a lot of the work of Alan Watts. I find he communicates with a level of nuance and clarity that I find refreshing. I’m always looking for perspectives that push me past my boundaries of understanding, and I feel he fits that niche.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hey, I’m Austin. I’m a photographer and visual artist currently residing in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I began exploring photography not because I was extremely passionate about cameras, but because I wanted to create something and I didn’t have the mental clarity to focus on a large scale project without abandoning it. Photography was a last ditch effort for me to express myself in a way that would allow me to put something out there and move on. It was, and still is, a tool for me to be mindful and present in the face of anxiety. But it has evolved into so much more.
I believe when you’re honest and authentic, people notice – and they noticed me. I didn’t start shooting with the goal of making money, but overtime photoshoots for friends turned into a full career. I’ve done work for New Holland Brewing, the PWBA, Home Depot, and dozens of other clients from small businesses to families and pets. But no matter who or what I’m photographing, I’m still doing it for the same purpose – to be present and show others the relationship between me and what’s on the other side of the lens.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
My motivation for self expression and honesty isn’t the full story. A part of me wanted to be seen and recognized for who I am, and told that it was fantastic. I wanted to be special. I wanted the world to see my work and be transformed. I wanted to feel like I could make a large scale difference. I wanted all of that, but the best I could do was post aimlessly to social media and hope for some big break.
Well now that I’ve been doing this for almost ten years, I’ve officially stopped caring. I think my drive for outward success was a useful tool for me at the time, but it has served its purpose. I was delivering pizza, hating my job and wanting nothing more than to live as I wanted – free to explore whatever inspired me. Well, now I’m a full time professional photographer, and while I may not have made a global impact, I’m content. My mental health has greatly improved, and for the past few years it has become abundantly clear that I’m nothing special. I don’t need to make a global impact. I’m happy to explore this moment and share what I see with anyone who’s curious. If no one is, that’s fine. I don’t do it for them anymore.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
It’s tempting to want to hold on to success, or pleasure, or even contentment. After all, no one wants to experience failure, or pain, or discontentment. But as I’ve grown older I’ve realized that neither side is mutually exclusive. You can’t have pleasure without pain, or success without failure. They are two sides of the same coin, and in many ways, they are literally the same thing. If I strive for pleasure, I’m inviting pain. If I ignore my failures, I’ll never have success. Grasping leads to disappointment, which leads to satisfaction, which leads to disappointment again. If I live without desire, I can never lack that which I desire. It seems like a counterintuitive concept, but it’s what I’ve found to be the most true.
That being said, I cannot force myself to have no desire. I can’t rig the game to avoid the suffering. I’ve got to go through it. The suffering is the lesson that teaches me to let go. A life lived with unearned success is a life wasted.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. Is the public version of you the real you?
I think the way I present myself in public is only a part of the real me. Sometimes I get caught up trying to be viewed one way or another. Sometimes I feel like I need to have a coherent brand persona in my online communication. But every time I try to define myself, I find it lacking because I don’t actually see myself as one thing. I think everyone, including myself, is way more nuanced than we like to believe. To one person I may be a goofy shit-talker, to another I may be a thoughtful presence. I try my best to organize my many selves into an understandable framework of expression, but I usually come out lacking. Sometimes I wonder if other people understand me better than I understand myself, or if they’re just condensing me down into their best interpretation.
It may sound like I’m trying to present myself as some mysterious, alluring figure that you should be captivated by, but really I’m just trying my best to express the jumbled mess that is my own mind. This is what an anxiety disorder looks like 🙂
Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
When I was younger I hoped that I would be loved and deeply mourned when I was gone. I wanted to feel like the whole world adored and respected me, but now, I kind of hope they don’t. I think I’m at the place where I’m really starting to not care about my part in anything. If there’s any good I’ve done, it’s not because of me. I want people to remember and spread the goodness, not the face it came from. When I’m gone, I’m gone. I’ll never know how people responded, but I don’t want them thinking that any good or bad I did died with me. I want them to see that the good and bad in me are the exact same good and bad in them.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.coyer.co
- Instagram: @austin.coyer
- Youtube: @austincoyer
- Other: Threads: @austin.coyer
Image Credits
Austin Coyer
