An Inspired Chat with Sharnell James of Metro Detroit

We recently had the chance to connect with Sharnell James and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Sharnell, thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What are you most proud of building — that nobody sees?
I’m proud of building a softer life for myself. For so long, I lived in survival mode; constantly in fight, flight, or freeze. It’s taken a lot of unlearning, healing, and intentional choices to step out of that space. Creating the peace I once only dreamed about feels incredible. People may notice the glow I carry now, but what they don’t always see is how much inner work it takes to shine that way.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Sharnell James, and I like to call myself Thee Mental Health and Self-Care Advocate. By day, I’m a school social worker, and outside of that, I’m the founder of Dear Self Care, a platform I created to foster awareness around mental wellness, self-care practices, and the importance of prioritizing yourself, especially in communities that are often overlooked.

What makes Dear Self Care unique is that it was born out of my own journey of learning how to slow down, unlearn survival mode, and embrace a softer, healthier way of living. I wanted to share that with others in a way that feels both practical and approachable. Over the years, the platform has grown into events, resources, speaking engagements, and, most recently, a rebrand that focuses on leaving a legacy of transformation.

Right now, I’m working on expanding Dear Self Care into something bigger than me: journals, community events, and even a podcast are all in the works. For me, it’s not just about self-care as a buzzword, but about helping people truly build lives they don’t feel the need to escape from

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
The part of me that I have been learning to release is the version of myself that lived in constant overdrive. For years, I believed I had to hustle nonstop, overextend myself, and prove my worth through what I produced or achieved. That mindset served its purpose—it got me through school, jobs, and tough seasons of life—but it’s not sustainable, nor is it the life I want for myself now.

I have been letting go of the need to always “push through” and instead leaning into rest, joy, and intentional living. Releasing that old version of myself has allowed me to step into a softer, more aligned version of who I truly am.

When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
I stopped hiding my pain and started using it as power when I realized that my story could be someone else’s survival guide. For a long time, I kept everything bottled u; my struggles with anxiety, my experiences with burnout, and the weight of always trying to be “the strong one.” But over time, I learned that vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s actually one of the most powerful tools we have.

The moment I started sharing my journey through Dear Self Care, I saw how my transparency permitted others to be honest about their own struggles. What once felt like shame or heaviness transformed into purpose. Now, instead of hiding my pain, I use it as a bridge to connect, to inspire, and to remind people that healing is possible.

Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. How do you differentiate between fads and real foundational shifts?
For me, the difference between a fad and a real foundational shift comes down to sustainability and alignment. Fads are usually trendy, surface-level, and short-lived—they look good on social media, but they don’t always create lasting change. Foundational shifts, on the other hand, are the practices, mindsets, or habits that keep showing up because they truly work and align with your values.

In my own journey and through Dear Self Care, I have learned to pay attention to what actually supports my mental and emotional well-being over time. If something feels authentic, helps me grow, and continues to serve me beyond the moment, then I know it’s more than just a trend; it’s a shift I need to keep nurturing.

Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I hope people say that I was someone who truly poured into others and reminded them to pour into themselves. That I didn’t just talk about self-care and healing, but that I lived it nd created spaces where people felt seen, valued, and inspired to take better care of themselves.

I want my story to be one of impact and transformation: that I helped shift the narrative around mental health, especially in communities that are often overlooked, and that I left behind tools, resources, and moments of connection that made people’s lives a little lighter.

At the end of the day, I hope people remember me as someone who led with authenticity, love, and intention.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: dearselfcare
• Linkedin: Sharnell James
• Facebook: Dear Self Care

Image Credits
Q11 Photography