Rising Stars: Meet Cassandra Crawley

Today we’d like to introduce you to Cassandra Crawley. 

Hi Cassandra, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstories.
When people look at me, I get the typical response that I look like someone who is normal. Someone who holds themselves well enough to not seem traumatized. 

Ever since I was a child, life was never easy. We moved around a lot, I was sexually, mentally, physically, and emotionally abused. I was put into the foster care system when I was about 8 years old, passed through about seven different homes. I lost my father when I was 9 years old and my mother when I was 10 years old. 

My adoptive family mentally, physically, and emotionally abused me. I lived with them since I was 10 years old, up until I was 17 years old. I moved out of the house when I was 17 years old and moved in with a friend. 

I used art as my muse to keep me going through all of the pain. When I graduated from high school, I attended Ferris State University and received my Associate’s degree in Graphic Communications. When Covid-19 hit, 20 years old, I had decided to drop out and pursue my love of art and the medicine of Cannabis. 

Now, I’m selling my art at shows and festivals and working at a dispensary to help educate the public on the medicine of cannabis. 

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Life for as long as I can remember has been filled with constant fear that things wouldn’t get better. 

My mom and my dad’s relationship wasn’t the greatest, and after my sister was born, my dad left. I was probably around 3 or 4 years old when that happened. My mom was young when she had me, I believe she was 17 when I was born. After going from boyfriend to boyfriend, gaining two more children in the process, things really started going downhill for my mother and us kids. 

I know my mom tried hard us. I know she didn’t want us to go hungry, live in women shelters, or even times, homeless. I know she didn’t want her boyfriends to sexual abuses us or beat us until we couldn’t stand. I know she didn’t want to be addicted to drugs. I now know that she did feel alone. 

My dad wasn’t in the picture much, we saw him on some holidays, on occasion. I know that it was hard on my mom, so I did everything I could to step up. I would walk to the store with my mom to help carry groceries. I would babysit my sisters when my mom had to leave, and I would even bottle feed and change my infant sister. I did all of this because I knew I had to stay strong for my sisters. 

When I was about 8 years old, I remember being called to the principal’s office. I thought that was scary, I had no idea what I had coming next. My sisters and I were taken away from my mother, (2 of us went to one home, the other 2 to a different home). It was a temporary home at first, then we went through several more homes. 

I was about 9 years old, living in my 6th foster home. I came home from school one day to see my counselor at my house, he didn’t look like he had any good news. We went to go talk, and when he finally got the courage, he said to me, “Cassie, your father passed away in a tragic car accident.” People say that young kids don’t understand death, but I can tell you that I felt a part of me disappear that day. Many, many years later, (my adopted mom held onto them until I moved out) I received my dad’s ashes. His wishes as a Native American was to be cremated. I still have his ashes and hope to turn them into a necklace one day. 

Time goes on, we end up moving from that foster family due to abuse from the siblings and parents. Finally, my “Aunt” and “Uncle” decide to take us in, after having my other sisters for several years before. I was beyond excited because I thought I was finally about to be part of a real family who will love me. Boy, was I wrong. 

My “Aunt” and “Uncle” eventually become “Mom” and “Dad”, and I thought being adopted by someone I knew would lead to love and happiness. Little did I know, my new “mom” and “dad”, had different intentions. I could write a book on all of the mental, physical, and emotional abuse I went through with this family alone. 

Shortly after getting adopted by them, I came home from school, to yet, some more bad news. This time, I was 10 years old, just starting 5th grade. I came home from school and my adopted mom was sitting on the porch. She stopped me to sit next to her, looking very sad. We sit in silence for a second and then she says to me, “Cassie, your mom passed from a drug overdose.” My heart broke into a million pieces, and yet another piece was lost of me. Attending her funeral wasn’t any easier. Seeing my mother lay there, lifeless. We didn’t have much money, so the person who did the makeup wasn’t that good. I remember her lipstick being speared and same with her eyeliner, not the best last memory. My adopted mom didn’t even let us go to her burial, I didn’t get to see it until I was 18 years old and went on my birthday. 

Growing up, my adoptive dad didn’t spend much time with the family. He was always in the garage doing something, typical dad stuff, I guess. He also drank A LOT. I can’t even count how many times he had poured his beer ON me. He would try here and there, but mostly when I’m receiving an award and he’s taking credit. 

My adoptive mother is the reason I’m who I am, and the for the reasons that you wouldn’t think. When I was adopted by her, I thought I finally had a mother who I could talk to, go-to for personal things, go on mother-daughter dates, someone who would be proud of me. No matter how good of a child I was, (I was by no means perfect, but I tried extra hard to be a good kid so I wouldn’t lose another family). No matter how good of grades I received, it was never good enough, never enough to make her seem genuinely proud. I came home with 15 awards from school one year, she didn’t even look up from the tv. She was a very angry person, instead of resolving things in a civil way, she instantly went to beating us with wooden paddles that had holes in them, specially made for her. Once the law got stricter on beating your children, she had to find a different source to hurt us. For me, mental and emotional abuse is all it took because of what I went through as a child. Whenever she was really angry at me, she would always go to one thing, my weight. For some reason, ever since I was in 5th grade, she had made comments about my weight. She had put me on diets, changed my hair color to make me look “prettier”, all these crazy things, all by the time I was in middle school. All of that mental and emotional abuse took over and I believed that I was fat and ugly. How could I not? My own mother was saying it. By the time I reached 7th grade, I wanted to end my life. I didn’t have any hope and I felt so alone. I decided to go to my counselor at school and get help through them. Once, I finally worked up the courage to have them tell my mom, my mom grounds me for the summer and locks me in my room. It took every ounce in my body and the desperate need to be loved, that kept me going. 

Living with her was a total nightmare. She would try and do everything she could to change my appearance to look like her. I’m Native American, so naturally, I have darker features. When I was in 7th grade, she bleached my hair to be blonde like hers. She would call me fat all the time and throw my clothes at me, telling me that they are all WAY too small, even though they were my size. 

Sophomore year hits, my adoptive parents move us from Illinois, back to Michigan. I wasn’t thrilled because I knew what the town we were moving to, had to offer. Nothing. It was a very republican town, a lot of racists people that I didn’t belong with. School was my sanctuary from home, so I tried to join extracurricular activities to enjoy what I had at the school, and stay away from home. 

Junior year, students can partake at a career center where I got myself into Graphic Communications and Technology. Without those instructors, without that class, I’m not sure where I’d be. I was able to use my artistic side in many productive ways. 

My adoptive mom always told me that I wouldn’t make it in life by just creating art. She said I wasn’t good enough. Joining the career center gave me the opportunity to use my art in many different ways like stickers, t-shirts, and so much more! I had the amazing opportunity to join a competition called SkillsUSA for photography. I did that for 2 years and even made it to states my second year. I also had the amazing opportunity to have an internship at a screen-printing business. I had gained so much knowledge and experience from the career center. 

Although I had those amazing things going on at school, my adoptive mom was never proud. I would put on a mask at school, but come home and have it broken by my adoptive mother. All the mental and emotional abuse, it was getting so hard. It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t believe in myself, my art, or my dreams. I was at a point in my life where I felt so alone, I thought no one would notice if I was gone. I was close to ending my life for good… 

Luckily, I’m a fighter. The thing is though, staying wasn’t for me, it was for my little sisters. I didn’t want them growing up, wondering what happened to Cassie. I didn’t want them thinking that suicide was the only option. So, I made the decision to move out. It wasn’t easy, I knew either way, that I was losing my sisters. I was lucky enough to have a friend, whose parents let me move in. I was beyond grateful for them. My adoptive mom didn’t make the process easy. She would talk about me negatively to everyone, saying I was an awful kid and a failure. My family members would message me and say awful things. My own sisters wouldn’t even look at me at school because of how much my adoptive mom manipulated them. There was one day, she sent my sister to school with my dad’s ashes. The first time in 9 years that my adoptive mom let me see my dad’s ashes. And it was at school. 

Moving out meant I had barely any clothes or items, or even my records. I did receive my security card eventually, but I had to go to the courthouse to get my birth certificate. Due to my amazing guidance counselor, she was able to help me get my birth certificate and my state ID. 

Senior year had came around, and I became overwhelmed from the thought of which college to go to, and how I was getting there. Through lots of conversations with my instructors at the career center, I made the choice to go to Ferris State University. I was accepted and instantly started applying for scholarships. I knew college was the way to my new life, one where I had the control and could make things get better. 

Once I started college, I knew I had the world at my fingertips. I applied for as many classes as I could, joined some Student Organizations, and even started a job at a cute natural health food market. My goal was to make it with my art, and that’s exactly what I aimed to do. 

Sophomore year of college was probably the real turning point in my life and career. I started a job at one of the offices on campus as their Graphic Designer/PR. This job gave me the opportunity to create lots of designs for the University, including a logo for a new program that they were using. While working at the natural health food store, I had helped a customer that turned out to be someone super important to the town. He owned an Insurance Agency, and with a little pass of the business card, I was able to create a new logo for the business. I had joined a student organization called Students for Sensible Drug Policy (SSDP). There whole idea is that they don’t condemn nor condone drug use, but they recognize that it’s going to happen. They provide resources, tools, and proper education, to insure safe use. Joining this organization was huge to me because of the way I had lost my mother. Had she had the support, resources, and tool, maybe she would still be here. I know I can’t rely on the maybes or the what-ifs, but I do know that I can do something about it, so another person doesn’t have to go what I went through. I know I can’t change the past, but I can help prevent this issue in the future. I’m now Narcan trained, and I always have Narcan at my house. You just never know when you will need it, and I always want to be ready. 

This organization (SSDP) led me to many other organizations like DanceSafe and NextGen Michigan. DanceSafe is an organization that provides harm reduction tools at concerts and shows, such as water, earplugs, info cards on different substances, and condoms. I started out as a volunteer with this organization and now I’m the treasurer of the Michigan DanceSafe chapter. NextGen Michigan was an opportunity to dip my toes into politics. They are a non-affiliated political group, whose main goal is to get the youth registered to vote. It’s so important to get involved in your local politics if you want a change for an overall. At the time I was in this organization, we were voting on Prop 1: The Legalization of Cannabis in the county. I attended city council meetings and went to different college classes, talking about the benefits of voting, and getting them registered to vote. With our help, we were able to make Big Rapids a cannabis community. 

Cannabis has become a huge part of my life. My freshman year of college, I had gotten a stomach ulcer, it was the worst stomach pain of my life. I was constantly vomiting, so I decided to go to the doctors. In order to get better, I had to take 11 pills a day, with a lack of appetite. The only thing that would give me an appetite was smoking cannabis. Without it, I never would have eaten. I started doing research on cannabis while continuing my art and school. I eventually found a way to incorporate all three of them together. 

My junior year of college was a very exciting yet, interesting year. I traveled for spring break for the first time, but that’s when Covid-19 hit. To me, quarantine wasn’t as traumatic as it was for other people. I was use to crazy things happening in my life, so I used it as an opportunity to create more art. I also still needed a job to pay rent, so I applied at a dispensary that was new to the area. I instantly got hired and had my toes in the cannabis industry. When I found out that college was going to be online the next year, I had to make a huge decision on whether or not I wanted to go back. Although I made it on the dean’s list, the semester we had to go online, it was still a hard learning process for me. I knew that with what I want to do with my art, I didn’t necessarily need a bachelor’s degree, my associates in Graphic Communications would be enough. 

It was a very scary choice, but I had decided to leave school and move to Grand Rapids, to pursue my love of cannabis and art. I moved here December 2020 and It was very nerve-wracking for me at first, this wasn’t the path I had pictured for myself when I was 18, I thought I’d be in California by now. Although it was a very scary decision, I’m very thankful I had done it. I’ve had many opportunities while being in Grand Rapids, like starting up at a dispensary. For them, I was able to use my art and graphic design skills to produce them: flyers, stickers, billboards, and package design. 

Not only that, I’ve been given the opportunity to dip my toes into vending at shows and festivals and I can officially say it’s almost been a year since I’ve been doing so. 

Life has brought me lots of ups and downs. A rollercoaster that I thought was going straight to hell. There was one thing that truly kept me going through all of that though. There was something inside of me that made me feel like I was meant to be something more, so wove who can help and heal our home we call earth. 

I hope to change the world one day, and I hope my parents are looking down at me proud. At the end of the day, everything I do is for them. 

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
Talking about my art takes me to my happy place. 

I can remember the moment I had realized that I wanted to art for the rest of my life. I’m not sure how young I was, about 4 or 5 years old. I remember seeing my mom draw Fred Flintstone so perfectly. Her lines were crisp and it looked just like him. I said to my mom, “I want to draw like you one day.” 

Ever since then, I’ve used my art as an escape, my passion, and my dreams. I’ve done everything I can to fill my life with art constantly. 

My style and medium has changed quite a bit throughout the years. From cartoon-style drawings to realistic, drawing to paint. I would describe my style now as a Trippy/Hippie aesthetic that always consist of very vibrant and bright colors, including blacklight and glow paint too. I have found acrylic paint to be my favorite to work with and can produce the most vibrant color. 

I specialize in acrylic paint on canvas, but also love to paint on other things such as lamps, rocks, shells, and anything else I find interesting. 

There are several accomplishments that I am proud I have achieved. One being, that I now sell my artwork at shows and festivals, specifically in the EDM scene. The second one being, that I just had one of my paintings in ArtPrize. This is my first year being a part of ArtPrize, and I can’t wait to be a part of it next year. 

The thing that I’m most proud of though, is pushing through to achieve my dreams, even when everyone said I couldn’t do it. Pushing through all of the odds and obstacles, and still staying strong to chase my dreams. That is what I’m most proud of myself for. 

What sets me apart from others, is the willingness for growth and knowledge due to my circumstances. I can always find a way to make something work, and I show that in my art too. I know my art will continue to progress and my style with become more defined, but I will always express exactly how I feel with my art, even if not everyone likes it. I’ve had to learn that not everyone is going to like my art, and although it is a though pill to swallow, I can learn from what they say and use it constructive criticism on my art. 

Can you share something surprising about yourself?
Something surprising that most people wouldn’t know about me is that I actually really love math. My sophomore year of high school, I finished math with a 103.3%, because I did so much extra credit. Also, my senior year of high school, I did Calculus online for fun. I was 1 of 3 students who did the online Calculus class, and the only female at that. 

Contact Info:

• Email: cassgraphics17@gmail.com
• Website: https://www.redbubble.com/people/cassgraphics/shop?anchor=profile&asc=u
• Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/celestialauracreations
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/celestialauracreations