Today we’d like to introduce you to Kendra Svilar.
Hi Kendra, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
I started Restore Resolutions, LLC, in 2022, after spending over 20 years in compliance work. At Restore, we use restorative practices to handle harm, from conflict to discrimination. A restorative approach focuses on the harm people have experienced and how to begin transforming it. Instead of broken rules, we start to heal broken relationships — with the self and others.
The work is built upon three key values borrowed from African and Japanese approaches, including: Ubuntu, which means “I am because we are,” highlighting the importance and impact of interconnectedness. It views a person’s humanity as interconnected with others. The second is Sankofa, the practice of looking back to recover lost learning and carrying it forward to begin healing, acknowledging the link between the past and the future. Most of the time, I find that, for myself and others, my life has remained small and fearful because I have been living around some ancient hurt. Bringing that into the light helps us see it, see how we have been acting from that place of pain, and learn new skills to heal it so that we do not continue to hurt ourselves or others. Finally, the third concept is Kintsugi, an art form that takes broken pieces, fills them with molten gold, and brings them back together to create something new. Doing so honors the journey of healing and repair and makes clear we are not throwing ourselves, others, or our learning out. It treats the fractures and their repair as part of the transformative journey, rather than something to throw away, giving them meaning and purpose.
I trace the beginnings of my restorative justice work to college, when I was required to take coursework about race and ethnicity. It was in these classes that I learned about people impacted by systems designed to protect power. My heart and mind lit up with ideas, but I didn’t yet have a framework for healing or transformation. That came much later, after trying to get “justice” for those who normally don’t have it, including neglected or abused children, survivors of domestic violence, and other crime victims as an assistant prosecuting attorney. I left the field after I noticed how little justice was actually being delivered and how small my heart felt while doing the work. I went on to do student conduct work and civil rights investigations at small and medium-sized private, as well as large public colleges. Still, though, I saw that the harmed parties and their needs were not being centered and no learning or human dignity was being offered to those who broke rules and laws. Eventually, I met my mentor and friend in the work during that time, who taught me about restorative justice, which was far more in alignment with my values. I was sold, got trained to do the work, left compliance, and started Restore.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
The road was not smooth, but it was important. I struggled with law school debt, understanding my gifts, and dealing with my own conflicts. I was focused on achieving something–making enough money, doing really well at work, having a family–so that I could set down the burden of all I had accumulated–debt, stuff, empty relationships. I had a hard time feeling joy or really anything besides fear and anxiety because I was always choosing environments or communities where I had to prove myself by performing job duties, tasks, or acts of care. At one point, I took a medical leave from work for 3 months at the request of my health care provider. I had to sort out my inner world. I learned how to see my feelings as messages about met and unmet needs, how to identify them, and give myself empathy and compassion. This widened my world considerably — for me to step into it more freely and to have the capacity to hold other people’s stories more carefully. I am, as we all are, works in progress, always, but it took a lot of heartache to understand that shame did not need to come along for the ride every minute of every day for me to get things done that mattered.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
My clients are often public K-12 school systems or institutions of higher education. I work with people from all over the country. My specialty is designing structured, guided, relationship-centered pathways forward after something bad–sometimes horribly bad–happens. I am most proud of being able to attune to and feel with people who have been hurt and those who have hurt others. I see our interconnectedness in those spaces, since nearly 100% of the time, hurt people hurt people. We have a chance to do some real, transformative healing when we can see that. I believe what sets me apart from others is my willingness to handle very challenging topics, like sexual assault, race-based violence, or disability-based harm.
Networking and finding a mentor can have such a positive impact on one’s life and career. Any advice?
I have found mentors when I have needed them by getting really clear about the type of relationship I would like to build with them. In the past, I got stuck thinking I needed one mentor who could be everything to me, but I am realizing I have many guides in different areas of my life. A coach once put it to me like this: You need a team rowing in your direction. Who is on it? And, especially when your life needs to change course, or it takes a turn, you may rely more heavily on one over another. For example, I have a business bestie, a restorative justice guide, a healing coach, a parenting and relationships coconspirator, and someone I partner with for my physical health. My advice is to intentionally create space in your life to be emotionally honest with yourself about what you need, who you need, and why. Then, put yourself in or at gatherings to meet a variety of people. Be curious about them and remain open to what you can learn from them, no matter what they do in the world. I once went to a conference with my now business-bestie. We were debating whether to enter a dance contest. Someone watching us go back and forth about it, a server, told us to do it-to have fun. We did, and we won the contest. The server entered into connection with us with encouragement and joy, and I wanted more of that in my life at that time. She gave me the nudge to follow it. I gave her my winnings, and it remains a moment I hold as a treasure in my heart.
Pricing:
- The Restorative Blueprint (TM)-$5,000-$7,000
- Restorative Conference-$4,000 to $6,000
- Restorative Circle-$3,000-$5,000
- Shuttle Negotiation-$2,500-$4,000
- Climate Assessments: $3,000 – AND: Services can be scaled for scope and need
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.restorerjs.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/restoreresolutionsllc
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/restoreresolutionsllc
- LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/company/restore-resolutions-llc/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDzuOOLGjkE&t=13s
- Other: https://youtu.be/gGXUul9mpw
