Conversations with Ellen Miller

Today we’d like to introduce you to Ellen Miller. 

Hi Ellen, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
As the youngest child of a large family, I learned the value of relationships and how they influence our identity. In that role, I also learned to observe the actions of those around me. Those observations were followed up with the quintessential youngest child question, “Why?” As my life evolved and I found myself in other relationships with friends, as an athlete, and romantic partners, my curiosity and passion for relational thinking grew. These skills and experiences have become the foundation for my desire to become a therapist. 

I decided to attend Michigan State for my Bachelor’s in Psychology. Although I was fascinated by my psychology course and its focus on the individual, I was curious about how that person’s relationships informed their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Considering how imperative relationships had been to my development, it felt like a huge stone left unturned. From there, I discovered the field of marriage and family. Luckily, MSU has its Human Development and Family Studies department. That is where I further explored the human experience through my classes and an internship at the MSU Couple and Family Therapy Clinic. 

In 2013, I went for my Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy at Northwestern University. During that time is where I learned how to be a therapist. I did my clinical training with individuals, couples, and families from all different backgrounds to gain support and healing from their current challenges. 

After receiving my master’s, I accepted a job at a nonprofit in the North Shore suburbs of Chicago that specialized in adolescent mental health, crisis management, and psycho-educational. I worked closely with teens and their parents and community organizations to promote positive mental health and healthy relationships. 

I had worked my way into a clinical supervisor role when COVID hit. I always dreamed of moving back home to Michigan and opening my private practice, but I did not feel I could make it a reality. During a time when the whole world was in fear and the unknown, it also presented a sense of novelty and urgency to meet my own needs. And with the support of my significant relationships that initially shaped me, I decided to relocate back to Michigan and open Starting Pointe Therapy in June 2020. 

Starting Pointe Therapy is located in Grosse Pointe and offers individual and relational therapy in-person and virtually. It was founded on connection, compassion, and curiosity. Humans can do hard things, which can be achieved with a support system surrounding us. 

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
One of the most painful expectations we can place upon ourselves is the concept of perfection. Things must go exactly as planned to deem an experience successful. The desire to be “perfect” and prevent any negative outcome was a mindset I led for much of my life. I prided myself on nothing “bad” could happen, and any unmet expectation was a failure. But then, when I started encountering everything I had worked so hard to avoid, I felt utterly lost. Then I found myself in my therapist’s office. We began to work on how my motivation was rooted in fear rather than empowerment. That my need for perfection was how I was managing my anxiety. And I can trust myself to handle more than I think, even if those moments are challenging and uncertain. With that being said, my path to today has been anything but smooth, but it has been meaningful. It has provided me with so much growth, both professionally and personally. 

A challenging component of being a therapist is living our own experience while simultaneously showing up for our clients. Even when I am far from perfect, I will be there supporting someone else. Thankfully, I have received extensive training in managing these transferences. Nonetheless, I have gone through grief, heartbreak, disappointment, and sadness alongside my clients. Through those moments, I give myself to permission to be human and importance of taking care of yourself so you can best take care of others. 

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist in both Michigan and Illinois. I am trained in individual, couples, and family therapy. My specialty is working with adolescents and young adults on identity and relationship development. 

I am proud to be back in the community where I grew to provide the service I needed at that time. Especially with today’s challenges and expectations on young people and their families, it’s even more imperative they are receiving the necessary support. Unfortunately, few resources teach people how to create and maintain healthy relationships with others and themselves. I am passionate about connecting with people from all walks of life, hearing their stories, and supporting their change through their biggest hurdles to achieving their greatest goals. 

Any big plans?
I am looking forward to continuing to grow and evolve with my community. I hope to keep providing meaningful services that match the ever-changing needs of individuals, couples, and families. 

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.startingpointetherapy.com/
• Instagram: @starting.pointe.therapy

Image Credits
Stephanie Baker Photography