Conversations with Emily Berning

Today we’d like to introduce you to Emily Berning. 

Hi Emily, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today.
On December 1, 2018, Nathan and I had been married for about two months. We were at his grandparent’s house in Michigan for a family Christmas party. Late that night Nathan was scrolling on Facebook and stumbled upon a pro-life page. 

As he was scrolling through the comments on a post, he saw one comment that stood out to him. It said: “distant cousin good friends but sadly she muchly needs to get her life straightened out I went down family path she went down drugs booze and sex path leading to 3 abortions one being scheduled for next week” 

Nate knew he needed to do something to try and get this mom to change her mind. He reached out to the woman who posted the message—Ashley—and they began messaging back and forth. 

She told him that her cousin was at a low point in her life. She had lost custody of her other two children, and they had become wards of the state. She also lost her job and had been evicted from her apartment. 

As a result, she was now living in a van, in the December temperatures that could reach single digits at night. Having another child seemed out of the question. 

He wondered if financial support from us personally would be enough to cancel her abortion appointment. 

Ashley texted her cousin, whose name was Josie and we anxiously waited for a reply. We had also offered to adopt and Josie said “I don’t adopt it’s either keep or throw away.” 

Throw away? We were fine with her not wanting us to adopt but more than anything we wanted her to cancel her appointment and let her baby live. 

Nate texted back: “We will be able to support Josie with $1000 if she cancels that appointment, we can send to her through PayPal or Venmo.” 

Two minutes later, her response was “I will keep this ball of [cells] for 1250 I doubt it’s legit tho.” 

Twelve hundred and fifty dollars was everything we had in our bank account, but we were willing to give it to a woman we’d never met before if it meant we could save her unborn baby from an abortion. 

Nate turned and gently nudged me awake and he asked me “Do you want to save a life?” 

“It will cost us twelve hundred and fifty dollars, but this woman won’t go through with the abortion she has scheduled for Monday morning if we can help her financially” 

I didn’t need to think about it. It was on obvious “yes” 

After that, there was a bit of back-and-forth. Josie wanted to make sure we weren’t trying to scam her somehow. Nate explained that everything he’d said was completely sincere and told her that we were part of the pro-life movement, and we were serious about doing whatever it took to save the life of her unborn baby. 

After several minutes of conversation, he finally received the text he had been hoping for: 

“She says Do you know if I can cancel on a Saturday or would I have to go in to cancel Monday?” 

We were so relieved and over the moon thrilled, completely ecstatic to know this baby had been saved. But the most exciting moment came a few days later when Nate received another message. 

It was an ultrasound picture of Josie’s seven-week-old unborn baby—a baby with a future. It’s amazing because I didn’t realize then that that was also the birth of our baby, Let Them Live, which has a very bright future. 

As a newly married couple we were still trying to figure out where to live, we had also quit our jobs to pursue starting Let Them Live, and we had just given away all the money we had. It was a lot all at once to say the least. We didn’t have a lot of options for where we could live seeing as we had no money so Nathan secured us a 5th wheel to live in. Berning Trailer Sales has been a Berning Family business for 4 Generations and when we found ourselves newly married without a place of our own to live, Nathan looked to Berning Trailer Sales which also stored people’s trailers. He found a 5th wheel that had been left on the property and never claimed again; it was clean and nice inside and that’s where we would call home for the next year or so. 

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
While LTL has had many successes and incredible growth in the 4 years since we became a nonprofit, it hasn’t come without its challenges. There were many times I almost walked away from Let Them Live when we first started because it was a lot of work for just two people to handle. 

The pressure of counseling women out of abortion, making sure we were raising enough money, making sure our donors knew where their money was going, fighting off backlash from both pro-choice and pro-life communities, keeping track of finances, paying bills for moms, and figuring out how to grow our team with volunteers were just some of the challenges! 

We were also newly married so we were trying to figure each other out as spouses and also as co-workers. 

Any nonprofit organization will never be without challenges and LTL is no exception. As we grow, we don’t face all of the same issues we did when we first started (although some of those challenges remain the same like raising enough money and constantly developing new ways to increase revenue) but we do face issues that come with the growth. For example: making sure staff and volunteers feel appreciated and valued, ensuring the staff members are paid enough to dedicate themselves to this work, ensuring we are covering our bases legally (HIPAA for example), organizational structure (how we grow the organization, where we put people, how we determine their strengths and where they would make the most impact), ensuring women are getting the help they need, making sure we stay within budget, etc. 

But all of that to say that I would never change a thing. I have learned extremely valuable lessons (because I have made mistakes) and I know the impact we have on women and their families. All of the struggles and challenges we have faced and will continue to face would be worth it even if we could help just one more woman and her baby. 

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
As the President and Co-Founder of a fairly young nonprofit, my job description might look a bit different from others in the same position at other organizations. 

Apart from my traditional President roles (media appearances and interviews, social media, speeches, and travel), I am also a gap-filler. There are quite a few of us at LTL and that just means that we go where we are needed. 

A few weeks ago, I was needed to help with some situations in our Counseling department and now I am focusing in on Fundraising and specifically our Adopt-A-Mom (AAM) program which is where churches, individuals, groups, etc. can “adopt a mom” by raising the funds she needs to choose life and supporting her emotionally as a community. 

I have tried to take myself out of as many internal staff/volunteer-related issues (our COO handles most HR-type things now) so that I can focus on expanding existing departments, creating new programs, or doing interviews and speeches. 

I am known for my leadership, flexibility, fairness, and approachability. 

I am extremely proud of the work Nathan and I have done. I never imagined I could start a successful nonprofit and I am extremely proud that we have not only been able to help over 500 women choose life and get back on their feet but I a proud that we have created the opportunity for donors to have a tangible way to make an impact and for our staff to make this their life’s work as well. 

I am a go-getter and just doing the bare minimum or the average doesn’t work for me! I consistently work 60-80 hour weeks because I know that’s what LTL needs from me. I think what sets me apart is that LTL is my life. It is my heart and I know for a fact it is why I was put here on earth. I give it my all. 

Are there any apps, books, podcasts, blogs, or other resources you think our readers should check out?
An African Proverb once said: “A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything.” 

This concept is really important to me as a leader. I appreciate learning and making mistakes because I know it will only make me that much better (not just for myself but for my team and my family and friends). I truly appreciate learning and growth and know that I will never know everything. 

This is why I spend time reading books that help me take a deeper look at myself and promote improvement. 

Books: 

Boundaries (Cloud & Townsend) 

Bible study (I do different types but what I am doing now is: A Woman’s Heart by Beth Moore) 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Covey) 

I also like to listen to videos and podcasts of people with differing opinions because it helps me to have more understanding of their thoughts/opinions and why they believe what they believe. It also challenges my own beliefs and I know that the only way I can ever fully defend what I believe is if I ask myself those challenging questions. 

Contact Info:

• Website: www.letthemlive.org
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/letthemliveorg/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LetThemLiveOrg
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/let-them-live/mycompany/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/letthemliveorg
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@LetThemLive