Conversations with BGIRL MAMA

Today we’d like to introduce you to BGIRL MAMA.

Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
Hello everyone! My name is Mary Mar, but I go by BGIRL MAMA. My story begins in Cambodia…

My parents and five of my siblings escaped from the Khmer Rouge & war in Cambodia. They walked to Thailand and were finally able to immigrate to Michigan in August 1979. I was born in the Summer of 1982. The performing and fine arts were engulfed in our daily lives. Both of my parents were part of the Cambodian opera theatre in their younger years. They sang and acted in musical plays. My dad, rest in heaven, played the thro (spelling) and formed a band consisting mainly of relatives. He was the lead singer. They held their practices in my cousin’s basement in Detroit on the weekends in the late 80s and 90s and I would watch them play with wonder and amazement.

I grew up listening to and watching Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul. I just knew I wanted to be like them: singing and dancing on stage. I daydreamed almost every day of becoming a Popstar.

My sister Phall, my brothers, Monn, Moy, Jimmy, and myself were all part of the Kelly Jr. High/Middle School Dance Faction – an audition-only show choir group that sings and dances. We participated in different years. My brother Jimmy and I are only one year apart, and we were in Dance Faction for one year together. I ended up winning the Best Dancer Award in Dance Faction when I was in 8th grade. Fast forward to Senior Year and my brother Jimmy and I sang and danced together in the Select Ensemble at East Detroit High School – another audition-only show choir group. I was excited to be voted Best Female Dancer for our Senior Awards. During my high school years, I was part of the NHS, Student Assembly, Yearbook, Dance Team, Drama Club, Ski Club, Plays, and Make-Up Crew. Wooooo! Anything to get away from the house, I wanted to explore and hangout at school. During my high school years, my love for the performing arts grew deeper and deeper.

In my Senior year, I decided to abandon the fine arts and wanted to pursue performing arts only. I once said to my then-friend, who is now my husband, that I wanted to be an Asian Popstar. He really thought I was going to go all in, but I admittedly lacked self-confidence. I absolutely love singing and dancing. I even auditioned to be a backup singer and almost went on tour with a local artist, but I did not attend the call-back. I was kind of a coward because I thought “who would take me seriously.” I also attended IMTA talent search in New York City July of 2002. A couple of agents were interested in signing me, but they wanted me to relocate to New York City or LA, which I wasn’t really ready for.

Let’s peddle back to March of 2001, when I became a B-Girl. I went to Tonic Nightclub in Downtown Pontiac and saw a dance circle (cypher in Hip-Hop terms) at a club for the very first time. I was so intrigued that they were breakdancing! I did not know how to break-dance at the time, but I knew I wanted to dance in the circle. I asked around if anyone was allowed to enter and they said, yes. So, I entered the dance circle and did some moves, ended with a kip-up and a cool pose then everyone cheered and clapped. It felt really good. I asked around to get info of where I could see and do more of this. And that is when I discovered St. Andrew’s Hall in Downtown Detroit.

That following Friday evening, I decided to go to St. Andrew’s, and my cousin tagged along with me. When we entered the main room, we saw two girls stretching in the middle of the floor. I was so excited that I went up to them and ignorantly asked “Is this your breakdancing gang?” They looked at me confused and with total disgust, rolled their eyes, then said: “First off, it’s not called breakdancing; it’s called breakin’, b-boying, or b-girling. And secondly, it’s called a crew and not a gang.” Then I said, “Sorry-uh Thank You! I’ve been Hip-Hop dancing and want to learn.” I felt kind of excited, but awkward knowing they didn’t take me seriously.

My cousin and I then started to walk around and went upstairs where we met a dancer named Greg AKA GMC. I saw him practicing and I went up to him and asked him if he could teach me some moves. He showed me a couple of down-rock/footwork steps and I mimicked his moves. He told me to not let the hips sink during my footwork. That was my first day of breakin’ and the rest is history.

Over 21 years later, I have performed, competed, and judged all over the U.S. and Canada with my crews Hardcore Detroit® and Venus Fly dance crews. In 2016, I became part of a dance collective duo Mama2 with dancer, choreographer, educator, and activist Amirah Sackett. Mama2 has toured with Caravanserai (Midwest Arts) and Malaysia’s The Get Down Session Tour (supported by the U.S Embassy). We have also performed at Detroit’s 1st Women in Hip Hop Concert (2016), Trinity International Hip Hop Festival (2019), Bates Dance Festival (2019), and more. I would love to do more.

In August of 2021, I was invited to compete in the coveted Red Bull BC One tournament for the Boston leg. I could not believe they contacted me for the opportunity! I was so excited, and it was super fun to have been blessed to compete on that big stage. I was also honored to receive the Lifetime Achievement Award from the MCSDA this past May. Sometimes I feel like I have not done enough and want to contribute more to the Detroit Hip Hop community.

Since 2012, I have been a Performing Arts Studio Manager for Dance City/Next Step Broadway (Dance Teacher there since 2011). All of this while helping take care of my mom and recording my debut album which has been delayed due many circumstances including my father’s passing in January. It’s been the hardest time of my life and I started looking at life differently. There is so much I want to do, especially as a songwriter, singer, and performing artist.

During the lockdown, I completed my first single ‘breathe’ and released it on all streaming platforms on November 20, 2020. I also released the music video for ‘breathe’ on YouTube a couple weeks later. As long as I am taking some steps, I feel that I have to be proud of myself. I hope to complete my debut album by next year. I want to write all the lyrics and produce all of the music for this album.

Another layer to me is the fact that I am Muslim and converted back in 2006. It was hard as a dancer and being Cambodian, but I learned that I just need to be the best version of myself as a Cambodian Muslimah B-Girl and only God can judge me. I count my blessings every single day and just pray and hope for the best. InshaAllah (God Willing). Alhamdulillah (All praises due to God).

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
I identify as a Cambodian Muslimah B-Girl. That, in itself, sounds impossible.

Being a Cambodian girl, it’s not proper to “open your legs” whilst upside down. At first, my mom didn’t like that I break, but she learned to accept it. Also, traditionally, the women of the household take care of the home. I had to be creative about hanging out with friends and going to the dances, hence why I joined the many clubs I did. Being part of those clubs, I was able to go to the dances, do volunteer work, put together student activities, go on field trips, etc. Unlike many people, I really enjoyed high school because I was so involved.

As a Muslim, one must be modest, so sometimes I feel like I am a walking oxymoron. But I dance because it’s a form of expression, a form of exercise, and a love for dance as art, and hopefully a talent that God had blessed me with. I don’t “dance to impress but to express.” Of course, I want to look good, but feeling good about my dancing matters way more to me.

There was a time when I fractured my tibia, and I was quite depressed about it. And I didn’t fracture it by dancing but trying to assist my partner in apprehending a shoplifter. Yes, I was once a Loss Prevention Detective (that’s a whole other story within a story!) Anyway, it took 3 months for it to heal. The muscle atrophy was hindering and it took another month or so to develop my muscles enough to dance again.

The biggest obstacle was/is myself. A lot of times I feel like I won’t be able to achieve all the things I want to achieve. Am I good enough? Will people take me seriously? I think they call it imposter syndrome. To cope and live with these feelings, I just take one day at a time and try to complete one step at a time. If I chisel away the difficulties, I know it will become easier…But I have to keep going at MY pace while going out of the box sometimes. InshaAllah.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I wear many many hats as an Artist.

I am a Performing Artist/Singer/Dancer/Songwriter/Choreographer who manages and teaches at a Performing Arts studio, Next Step Broadway. I professionally go by the name “BGIRL MAMA,” but I am known as “Miss Mary” at the studio.

At the studio, not only do I manage the studio and work alongside an awesome staff and owner, I teach nine Hip-Hop dance classes. I teach the kids as much hip-hop culture as I can along with breakin’ basics, contemporary hip-hop moves, and current trends. The hardest thing is to find current hip-hop songs which are appropriate, so I usually stick to instrumentals or my music. I choreograph recital dances and make sure my dance students have fun while learning.

I am currently working on my debut album in which I write my own lyrics and produce my own music. I have released one of the songs from the album called ‘breathe.’ This song means so much to me. I wanted to make sure the music I produced for ‘breathe’ portrayed Cambodian traditional music and dance called Romvong. In addition, I added Khmer which is Cambodia’s official language in my ‘rap’ part. During my ‘rap’ part you will hear a distinct instrument. That is my dad playing his thro instrument. If I miss him, I just need to listen to my song. The lyrics are about living your dreams and passions – whatever it is. Thank you so much for being part of my first song Dad!!! I am currently in a standstill after his transition. I hope to get back into the swing of things soon and I hope to complete my debut album by next Summer entitled “Becoming.”

Piper Carter filmed and directed my first music video to ‘breathe.’ I had a lot of creative freedom with the video. In the video, it was very crucial to me to show the lotus flower. The lotus flower is very important to Cambodian culture and symbolizes purity and overcoming adversity. Not many people know that the lotus flower grows in muddy, dirty waters but they naturally repel dirt and never get dirty. It retains its beauty. That is how I feel: no matter what I go through, I will be resilient or I will repel negativity. I feel anyone can relate to being a lotus flower in some way. Also in the music video, I wanted to show my trifecta identity of me being a Cambodian Muslimah B-Girl and wore three distinct outfits. The Cambodian outfit was inspired by Apsara dancers.

In the hip-hop community, I am known for being a b-girl and helping out with the Detroit Hip Hop community. I was heavily involved with the Foundation of Women in Hip Hop with Piper Carter during its early years when the weekly gatherings were held at the 5e Gallery. I try to support the local hip-hop events, especially the dance battles as much as I can.

I am most proud that I finally put out some of my music on streaming platforms and that my income is 100% related to the performing arts. I am not rich, but it is fulfilling, and I hope to perform and produce music more often as well as choreograph more impactful dance pieces. I choreographed ‘Escape From the Killing Fields.’ It is an emotionally driven, theatrical dance piece motivated by my family’s journey to the United States in which they escaped the Khmer Rouge and the war in Cambodia. The music used is a mix from The Killing Fields soundtrack composed by Mike Oldfield released in 1984 and Sni Bong by Dengue Fever. I performed this piece during my first tour as well as at the Kennedy Center.

I believe I am truly one-of-a-kind. I am a Cambodian Muslimah B-Girl. Have you ever met another like me?

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
When I think of happiness, I think of joy. Below are what makes me feel joy:

My husband Haleem, because he is the love of my life and very supportive of me. I cannot imagine my life without him.

My family, especially my mom and dad (rest in paradise Daddy).

Performing on stage, because I love making people feel something and taking them on a journey. I hope my songs can make a positive impact on the world one day.

Watching Asian Dramas, because that is my escape and guilty pleasure lol.

BTS, the band, because they are seven talented individuals that helped me through a lot mentally. And they made me truly believe that anything is possible. Seven Asian men who came from a small company who gained success through their talent and sincerity. I love their music and what they stand for: Love Yourself and Speak Yourself.

Blessings from the Most High, even blessings in disguise, because everything is from Him and He is the best of planners.

Contact Info:

• Email: info@bgirlmama.com
• Website: https://bgirlmama.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bgirlmama/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bgirlmama
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/bgirlmama
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/bgirlmama
• Other: https://open.spotify.com/artist/1QzdpoJfTTHZFctEdoxnzm?si=Ubhd5mPAQJK0N5WhHhMaUw

Image Credits
Piper Carter
Winnie Peng
John Chan
Damon Lee Patterson
Nika Kramer
Antar Hanif